Fixing our Eyes on Jesus

The kids had another week off of school this week, and we were asked to do three hours of studies a day with our tuitions groups.  Have you ever tried to get three 8-year-olds to do three solid hours of work?  It's not an easy task.  Monday and Tuesday I felt like I was going to die, and I knew something had to change.  So, I went to a shop in the village near our home and got four poster boards, and I set about making games and posters and I was determined to get those kids under control.  Wednesday was so much better, and I was pretty darn proud of myself.  But Wednesday night as I was going to bed I was convicted that I had been so focused on my projects for tuitions that I had let my focus stray from the Lord.

The next morning I asked the Lord what I should read in the Bible, and Hebrews 12 popped into my head so I flipped to it and didn't get past the first two verses.  "Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."


This just totally fit with what was going on.  I'm called to run the race set before me, and I'm called to do it well.  But most importantly, I'm called to run with my eyes fixed on Jesus Christ.  I still so need to learn how to do all things as if unto the Lord, not to please others, not to make myself feel better about myself, not to make myself look good to others.

Anyway, I just thought I'd share that little story of how the Lord corrected me in such a little, practical thing.  Overall, I'm doing really well. My homesickness has pretty much gone away, and I attribute it to all of you who are praying for me.  So, thank you so much!

Thoughts on the Father's love and heart

Parents always talk about how they understand God's love so much more when they have kids.  I am amazed by how much the Lord has taught me in spending just three months with these children.  My love for two children in particular has taught me so much about God's boundless love.

One child is seven-years-old, and I just love her to death.  She is super sweet.  She has a beautiful smile.  She is spunky and fun.  But she is a terrible reader.  She is in second grade, and she can hardly sound out three letter words.  Needless to say, as a second-grader she is given a lot of tasks she simply cannot complete because she can't read.  I have her in my tuitions group, so I work with her every day.  When I try to work with her on reading, she shuts down.  She doesn't think she can do it, so she won't even try.  She sees the whole book.  I want her to take one word at a time.  I want her to let me help her.  I want her to be willing.  Do I expect her to sit down and read a book to me?  Of course not.  I am so happy when she simply sits down and sounds out the words.  I feel like God feels this way about me.  I get overwhelmed and filled with fear when I think about doing something like speaking a prophetic word over someone, but He just wants me to be willing.  He wants to help me. 

The second child is five-years-old, and he is a trouble-maker.  He hits other kids.  He gets in trouble at school.  He takes things.  He breaks things.  When I tell him good morning, he ignores me then says no when I tell him to say good morning to me.  But I love him anyway, and I want him to know it.  There's no thought in my mind of "yeah, I love him, but I'll wait to let him know I love him until he shapes up, until he apologizes, until he is sweet to the other kids."  I picked him up and gave him a hug the other day, and he kicked and said, "I don't want to hug you. Put me down."  It amazes me how I can love this little trouble-maker after just three months.  It amazes me even more how much more Someone who created me and adopted me as His daughter must love me even though I'm a trouble-maker.  I wonder how many times my Father has taken me into His embrace and I kicked and screamed to be put down because I didn't feel loveable, so I couldn't believe or accept the love offered. 

October so far

October so far has passed in a flurry of activity.  It started with the Parents' Day program to honor all the houseparents and the other Indian staff members.  It went smoothly and was a lot of fun.  The kids had a lot of holidays the first few weeks of October, and the family time was taken advantage of.  There was a kickball tournament, a Star Wars marathon, family games, a trip to a beautiful botanical gardens, and lots more.  This week things have settled down with all the kids back in school.  But I'm not expecting things to stay settled for long.  We're going to a program the little kids' school is putting on for Annual Day tomorrow, then starting Friday they have more holidays.

As the halfway point in my trip has come, I'm getting a little homesick, missing my family and friends a lot.  I'm continuing to learn how to turn to Jesus as my closest friend and fellowship.  The Lord is doing a work of healing and freedom in my life, and I know it, but lately it's been kind of hard to see.  I know I'm being called to persevere and that the fruit will come in time.  I guess I'm learning patience at the same time :).